


Don't Make This Weird

by Stealth_Noodle



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Comment Fic, Delusions of Heterosexuality, Dry Humping, Inappropriate Erections, Kissing, M/M, Mid-Canon, Porn, Ridiculous, Things That Escalated Quickly, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 23:24:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stealth_Noodle/pseuds/Stealth_Noodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Totally normal straight guys practice kissing each other all the time, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Make This Weird

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "practice." (This was supposed to fit in a comment. I don't know what happened. /o\\)

"Man, I can't believe we had to go to school today." Junpei unlocked his bedroom door and hurried Ryoji inside, in case any of his more organized dormmates was lurking nearby in a mood to lecture. As he toed his shoes off, he added, "There oughta be a law or somethin'."

"They should've just let us stay another day in Kyoto," Ryoji said. "Or maybe—hang on." He pulled his buzzing phone from his pocket and held it to his ear "Ah, Mikako-chan! I was just thinking about how much I wanted to hear your voice! ...That sounds wonderful, but I can't today. I'm all Junpei-kun's."

Junpei made a face. "Dude, don't make it sound weird."

"Of course I'm still taking you out to dinner tomorrow," Ryoji continued, unrepentant. "Make sure you work up an appetite, okay? I'll treat you to a very special dessert." Inexplicably, he winked at his phone before hanging up. To Junpei he said, "Sorry about that. So, what are we playing today?"

The last time a girl had called Junpei's phone, it was Mitsuru thinking that the state of his room meant he'd been kidnapped. He tried not to sound bitter as he replied, "Well, I've got the new Demon Wranglers, but, you know, whatever."

Ryoji's frown indicated that he hadn't succeeded. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just, you know. Girl trouble." Junpei aimed for "dismissive" and thought he hit it pretty well. With a shrug, he knelt by his pile of games and started digging.

Ryoji knelt next to him. "That's right, you're really serious about that girl. Sorry, I should have remembered. How's that going?"

Whenever the world got too quiet, Junpei could still hear _Don't come here anymore!_ ringing inside his ears. "I dunno, man. It's complicated." Unsure whether he actually wanted to talk about the issue, Junpei held up a game as a distraction. "Ever play Delivery Bear Rumble? You're a bear on a delivery bike, and you gotta fight your way through traffic."

Ryoji's eyes lit up at the box art. "Ahh, the bear's delivering flowers! Which is a great idea, by the way. No matter how it's complicated, just show up with flowers and kiss her, and it'll work out."

Apparently distractions weren't going to work. "I already brought her a bunch of flowers," Junpei said.

"And you've kissed her?" When Junpei continued pawing aimlessly through his games collection, Ryoji added, "Aha, there's your problem! You can't keep girls waiting too long for the first kiss. They get antsy."

That theory didn't merit more than eye roll. Although, now that Junpei thought about it, maybe _What will you be doing in two years?_ had been a subtle jab at his failure to try anything. She'd freaked out when he touched her hand, but maybe she'd just been upset that he was still stuck on prepubescent displays of affection. It sounded stupid, but it wasn't like he really understood girls.

"Not sayin' you're right," Junpei said, looking back up, "but how do you—how can you tell?"

"Here, I'll show you." Beaming, Ryoji crossed the short distance to Junpei's bed and plopped down on the foot of it. "Come on, sit next to me."

Warily, Junpei did. "Whaddya mean, 'show' me?"

"I'll demonstrate." Ryoji swept his scarf out of the way and scooted closer to Junpei, raising a chorus of squeaks from the mattress. "So you're close to her, right? And she's comfortable with it."

Junpei was not comfortable with it, but he nodded along. Chidori never used to mind him at her bedside. "Yeah, okay."

"What you want to do is, keep getting closer." Ryoji's hand brushed Junpei's upper arm. "Touch her, but don't go too fast. You want to build up some anticipation."

He leaned in until Junpei felt compelled to back away. "Dude, that's creepy."

"Not if she's interested. See, if she pulls away like that, she's not up for it. But if she leans in..." His hand returned to Junpei's arm and this time slid lightly down to the the elbow before disengaging. "Just keep working up to it."

A shiver ran up Junpei's arm like a spooked spider. "This is pretty fucking weird."

"Well, imagine you're a girl."

"Hell no! You imagine _you're_ the girl!"

Ryoji looked thoughtful, then smiled and batted his eyelashes. "Okay. Go ahead and seduce me."

Junpei grimaced. "Man, you just made it _weirder_."

"D'you want to go back to being the girl?"

There had to be a third option that wasn't completely stupid, but Ryoji's invasion of his personal space narrowed the world. "No way. What comes after the arm stuff?"

"It depends. If she's touching you back—" Ryoji rested his hand over Junpei's— "she'll probably like it if you brush her hair back and move in. Just keep it slow and sensual."

"Man, I will _pay_ you to never say 'sensual' again." Junpei snatched his hand back to stop Ryoji caressing it. "And what if she's shy or somethin'? 'Cause Chidori's kinda... well..." The right word wasn't presenting itself, so he went with, "Look, this ain't gonna help if you act too into it."

"I'll do my best," Ryoji replied gamely, sitting up straight. "I think I'd be a really easy girl, though."

There was no good response to that, so Junpei didn't attempt one. Instead he took a few breaths to psyche himself up, then applied a series of stiff pats to Ryoji's shoulder.

"That's not very sensual," Ryoji said.

"I told you not to say that!"

"Well, it isn't. Maybe pretend you're petting a dog? Only sexy."

"Not helping," Junpei snapped, but it was too late; his brain had already conjured up an image of Koromaru with Mitsuru's bikini-body, along with the confused beginnings of an erection. He shifted uncomfortably, bedsprings creaking beneath him, before deciding that his best suppression tactic was to focus on Ryoji. Nothing like a sausage fest to starve a boner.

Steeling himself, he slid his fingertips up Ryoji's arm. In response he got, "Okay, that's better, but you can be gentler. You want to entice her, right?"

"Entice" was going on the list with "sensual." Junpei tried again, keeping the contact soft and brief, barely pressing against the solidness under the sleeve.

"That's better," said Ryoji. "No, wait, I'm being difficult." He set his mouth in a flat line and stared like an affronted owl.

When repeating the caress had no effect, Junpei tried skimming his fingertips down Ryoji's bare forearm. Tiny hairs rose in the wake of his touch.

Ryoji waved his other hand. "Hey, are you trying to hold my hand or kiss me? Because your face is all the way over there."

"This is so fuckin' weird," Junpei muttered, tilting his upper body forward. Something had been mentioned earlier about touching hair, so he tried letting his hand follow the curve of it behind Ryoji's ear. Whatever product kept it slicked back also made it a bit stiff and divided it into sharply defined strands.

Ryoji sighed disconcertingly. "That feels nice. See, now you can nuzzle my ear a little, or just start checking out my lips. If I don't turn my head away, that's an invitation."

"No way am I nuzzling you, dude." Junpei glanced at his mouth, because at this proximity, it was difficult not to. "So what do I do if she _does_ turn away?"

"I dunno, that's never happened to me."

"Never?"

"Not that I remember." Ryoji shrugged. "I mean, it would be a no, obviously, but you're really close to this girl, right? So let's think positive!" He smiled and flicked his tongue over his lips. "You should slide your hand down to the back of my neck. Girls like that."

Junpei did no such thing. "Hey, man, you don't have to stay all up in my face. We're not actually gonna—"

Before he could even think to lean away, Ryoji cupped his nape and closed the space between their mouths. Junpei made an alarmed _mmmf_ noise and windmilled his arms.

"Definitely don't do that," Ryoji murmured, his lips brushing Junpei's with each syllable. "Put your hands on—"

"What the _fuck_?" The outburst earned Junpei a little breathing room, but jerking away from Ryoji's bemused face didn't work; Ryoji didn't let go of his neck and came tumbling along with him. Probably the only thing worse than getting kissed by a guy was having the guy who kissed you half on top of you.

The thought had scarcely crossed Junpei's mind before he discovered a fresh level of worse, which was having the guy who kissed you half on top of you and a hard-on.

Ryoji gave him a worried frown, bunching up the skin between his eyebrows. "Are you okay, Junpei? You're acting kinda weird."

The noises coming out of Junpei's mouth finally amounted to more than sputtering: "Dude, you friggin' kissed me!"

"Well, how else am I supposed to teach you how to kiss?" Ryoji chuckled as if he'd just handily cleared up a misunderstanding. "Come on, we'll do tongues next."

"Get off," Junpei growled, and Ryoji scurried backward onto the mattress like a scolded dog. Dogs were still hooked into the wrong part of his brain. After scrubbing his lips with his sleeve, Junpei added, "That was just supposed to be how to get, you know, set up, not the whole..." He descended into gestures.

"That's not going to work very well if you don't know how to kiss, though." After a beat, Ryoji added, "You don't."

"I'll figure it out _myself_ , dammit." Scowling, Junpei shifted his legs and tried to subtly rearrange himself to make his erection less uncomfortable. If it had survived this long, no thought in the world could be unsexy enough to put it down.

Ryoji put his hand to his chest with an annoyingly earnest expression. "Look, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. No one's born knowing how to kiss."

"So who taught you?"

"I don't remember."

"Dude, that's a total cop-out!"

"I really don't, though." Ryoji looked genuinely troubled. "There was this girl, I think, with long hair, very shy—no, no, it couldn't have happened that way. And this other girl who—no, we both knew..." His eyes went mistily distant. "There was this guy I used to... watch? No, that's not quite right..."

Junpei gave up on subtlety and dragged his pillow over his lap. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, you've made out with so many girls you've lost track. Rub in it, why dontcha?"

"The guy part was important, though," Ryoji insisted. "I'm just not sure how."

Sometimes Junpei wondered if Ryoji hadn't grown up overseas so much as in another universe, one where dudes taught each other the art of kissing, high-fived, and ventured forth together to pick up chicks. Or maybe totally normal guys practiced kissing each other all the time, and no one had bothered to let Junpei in on it. He was pretty sure that girls made out with each other, after all. Yukari and Mitsuru had been really handsy together lately.

That line of thought wasn't helping his boner situation.

He must have spent longer than he realized thinking about it, because Ryoji sighed dejectedly and said, "Well, I was having fun, but if you don't want to, you don't want to. Wanna play that bear game?"

"Just hang on a sec," said Junpei, who was trying to imagine how Chidori would react if he made a big production of going in for their first kiss, only to press his lips flatly to hers and hope she took the lead. That got his erection to flag a bit, finally.

He took a deep breath, trying to find somewhere for his gaze to rest that didn't peripherally include Ryoji or any girly posters. For the first time, he regretted bringing back that "Beach Babes of Yakushima" pinup calendar. Maybe it was a good thing that Chidori hadn't ever seen his room.

"Just don't make it weird," he said at last, on the off-chance that there was any way for it not to be.

"Okay!" Ryoji chirped, as blithely as if they'd just agreed on the rules for a Mole Whackers challenge. He scooted close and leaned in, eyelids falling. His mouth settled softly back over Junpei's, lips barely parted, and _shit_ , it was already weird, even after Junpei thought to close his eyes. The breaths from Ryoji's nose tickled his cheek. Junpei's own breath quickened when Ryoji's lips moved through the faintest echoes of nibbling, trailing little ghosts of pressure.

When something soft and slick pressed at the seam of his lips, Junpei stiffened before letting them relax apart. Better, he decided, not to fixate on the fact that it was Ryoji's tongue. Ryoji was almost girl-skinny, anyway, which maybe counted for something.

The tongue tracing his lower lip dipped inside and painted sparks over unexpectedly sensitive flesh. Despite himself, Junpei let out a small, sharp sound when it flitted away. 

"It's no good if you don't kiss back," Ryoji said. "Move your lips a little, okay?"

"Your _mom_ moves her lips a little," Junpei muttered, inanely. As long as his mouth was free, he took the opportunity to clear his throat. This couldn't be that hard. Just like eating or speaking, probably, without actually chewing or making noise.

Three seconds into his first effort, he realized that chewing was the wrong approach when Ryoji pulled back to say, "Just try copying me. Like this."

There was a press-and-release rhythm to it, and a slow pattern of angles—nothing too difficult to grasp once Junpei started concentrating. Like Taiko Master with mouths instead of drums. Junpei added Taiko Master to the list of things he had ruined for himself today.

He felt Ryoji's hand creep back to his nape, which coincided with the realization that Ryoji's lips were parting again. Junpei braced himself for tongue and managed not to do any more than stutter over a breath when it slipped between his lips. What caught him off-guard was when it retreated, and Ryoji first gently nipped his slack lower lip, then began to suck at it.

"'eird," Junpei said urgently. "Really 'ucking 'eird."

Ryoji let go and pressed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth. "Sorry. Try the rest, though, okay?"

Trying not to think about ice cream or anything else he enjoyed licking, Junpei flicked his tongue experimentally against Ryoji's lips. The outside wasn't so strange—just skin, really, and he'd tasted plenty of his own getting Wild Duck sauce off his fingers. Hooking inside was where everything got wet and membranous, and teeth lurked in too many directions. Ryoji kept making small appreciative noises, though, so he supposed he wasn't doing too badly.

Then their tongues touched, and Junpei nearly jolted backward. A moment later, he was glad he hadn't; Ryoji's tongue sliding against his was like nothing he'd ever felt, and he couldn't even hate it for adding "slugs" to the day's list of things with ruinous erotic associations. He wondered how much of Ryoji's spit was in his mouth, and how much he should worry that he wasn't freaking out about it.

He pushed back with his tongue, stiffening the tip to trace contours. He kept getting lost and hitting teeth, but the sounds coming from low in Ryoji's throat were encouraging. Stumbling against the roof of Ryoji's mouth elicited something like a purr.

Their breaths mingled, heavy and humid. Kissing was louder than the movies made it out to be; the soundtracks covered up the wet smacking noises. Briefly Junpei considered reaching behind him to turn on the clock radio, but he didn't want to risk creating a world where a jingle for instant noodles gave him a stiffy.

One of Ryoji's hands knocked his hat off and caressed the short buzz of his hair. On any other day, having his scalp petted would have been peak weird, but at the moment, competition wasn't the only thing that was incredibly stiff. Without thinking, Junpei carded his fingers through Ryoji's hair and was rewarded with the warm wash of a sigh.

In and out and side to side, shallow to deep and back again, and every repetition amplified, as if Ryoji were grafting new nerve ending into his mouth. ("Sine curve" washed up like flotsam from wherever it had gone hiding in Junpei's brain during exams.) In the back of his mind, he wondered if there was a stopping point for all this. He couldn't concentrate on stopping; a quiet electric crackle was weaving through him, like the instant of an Evoker blast scraped indefinitely thin. When he jerked off after this, he'd probably be set for days.

The bed creaked as Ryoji straddled Junpei's thigh, making it apparent that Junpei wasn't only one with a boner problem. This was somewhat reassuring until it also became apparent that Ryoji intended to take care of his. Two layers of pants did nothing to lessen the weirdness of another guy's dick rubbing against Junpei's leg.

"Are you _humping_ me?" came out weakly, staggered over heavy breaths.

Ryoji stilled and raised his head, trailing a thin line of spit. "Is that not okay?"

Only if Junpei pulled back far enough to consider how insane the entire situation was, and he found himself unable to do that while his lips still throbbed and his pulse blasted his blood against the inside of his skin. Ryoji's pale face had flushed a dark pink, lips swollen and eyes dilated, framed by the increasing disarray of his hair.

"Nah, it's cool," he decided, and pulled Ryoji's head back in.

With a pleased hum, Ryoji locked his mouth with Junpei's and resumed the motion of his hips. Junpei found himself distracted from that friction when Ryoji's hand slid under the pillow to fondle his dick through his pants. He hissed obscenities into Ryoji's mouth.

He'd been so close to the edge for so long that it didn't take much to pull him over it. He shot off like a compressed spring, legs shaking, fisting the collar of Ryoji's shirt, arching his neck so he could free his mouth and _breathe_. His cock kept twitching, as if it would never finish emptying him out.

After a a fond little pat, Ryoji withdrew his hand and braced it against the mattress. His hips began to roll in earnest as he buried his face in the crook of Junpei's shoulder.

Junpei wondered how gay this was on a scale of one to Cho Aniki, but he felt too pleasantly spent and unpleasantly sticky to give the issue much focus. Laundry was no longer optional this weekend, he realized dimly.

Ryoji came with a long, lilting moan. For an uncomfortable moment, he seemed to be on the verge of collapsing into a cuddle, but the support of his arms held. With a goofy, blissed-out smile, he leaned in for a nuzzle and an alarmingly affectionate, lips-only kiss.

Junpei pushed him back. "You just made it weird, dude."

"Sorry." Ryoji rolled off to the side, and Junpei's brain resumed processing important thoughts, like the growing awareness that there'd been some chafing. Nothing good was going to happen in his pants when he got up. 

As he set his hat back in place, Ryoji grinned at him and said, "That was fun, though, wasn't it?"

Junpei made a noncommittal noise and no eye contact. "So girls are really into that? Like, _all_ of that?"

"I hope so," Ryoji replied cheerfully. "I'll let you know after tomorrow."

Junpei beat him with the pillow.


End file.
